I am a 30 something man living in London, so out of tune with his surroundings. I work in the city and commute in from close by like thousands of others converging on their respective work places. I endure and sometimes enjoy my job, maintain a multitude of friendships, have a good relationship with my wife, have a lot of fun with my kids. On the face of it just another normal bloke doing normal stuff.
Underneath the facade lies another person for which the whole basis of my life is sexually driven. It's what wakes me up in the mornings and keeps me up (pun intended) or puts me to sleep at night. It is what makes me decide which side of the road to walk down and where to stand in the Pub. It decides my favourite Pub based on the bar maids. It decides where I sit on the train or tube. I just like being around women whether my friends, most of which are women or people that don't know me. I am not a stalker, follower, starer or anything like that. Far
from being desensitisied from the siren call of sex in advertising, sex in the media, sex in everyday life, the constant views of cleavage. leg and belly on the train, in the office, in the Pubs and restaurants where I go for lunch , or just walking around the city , I find myself constantly stimulated. I am keenly aware of a woman walking past me with say a nice pair of shoes on , or a nice top, or a shapely arse or a lovely cleavage or pretty much anything. I am not saying that I am the only man to do this but feel controlled by it to a large extent, I simply can't help noticing things which arouse me. I state again, it could be almost anything about a woman, I will organise a proper favs list later. These images get saved and added to the vast database inside my head, most of which to be fair get erased quickly but some remain for years.
I am not asking whether this is normal and not asking to be judged. I may later go into detail about particular situations but will see how this develops.
Further background will be provided later.
