This is the first day of the rest of my life. Unsure how I feel right now. Free? Hardly.
Having difficulty focusing at work (no, that's a lie, I'm doing nothing today, going through the motions,staring at my screens).
I'm gonna take one day at a time. If you don't know what I'm talking about, refer previous post. I need to get something out of my system. Or I need to change my life. Or both. My wife admitted yesterday that she did n't blame me because she had pushed me away and everything I had accused her of was true. That was honest of her to admit that.
So, am I a free agent? Are discreet affairs in order? I'm sure many people have no such qualms or dilemmas. I'm not like that. Things have to be right and the reasons have to be right in order for me to move outside my current activities.
But the force of my desires are something else. They clamour constantly for urgent attention. I'm changing too slowly, beginning to do different stuff outside the zone.
So the conflict is between dick, heart and head. The license is there, the possibilities are endless.
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3 comments:
Isn't it always ironic how once we are free to do that which we thought we wanted, suddently we're not sure that we want it? I'm sorry you are having to struggle through this because there is no way to make the pain less or the process any easier, but I hope that in the end, you will find yourself in a better place.
Hi Alex - thanks again for the comments which you made on my blog. I really liked what you said.
I have been reading your blog but I am unsure of how to comment right now. I am just trying to get a feeling for your personality and were you are in life, but is does seam that your making exellent progress and I wish you the best of luck x
Fex - I'm not free, but know exactly what you mean. It's a struggle but nothing worth doing is ever easy. Stay with me, please.
Wonderwoman - Thank you for your kindness. I will try to send you an email.
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