Hello, do you come here often...

No, I have n't used that corny line. Hopefully no one ever, ever utters those cringeworthy words. But, here's the thing. In my new 'out there' life I roll up in a number of bars with a number of people lately. And one overriding consistency is - I am absolutely shit at approaching people (girls) in a Bar.

I 've run through the reasons (excuses).-
Not the right Bar.
Not the right girl.
Too pissed. - that is a valid one to be fair
Not pissed enough.
I've forgotten how to do it.
I'm not used to this.
I can't.
I'm unattractive.
I'll look stupid/say something stupid/say the wrong thing.
I'm too scared of the thought of rejection.

That's it, the last one. I don't think I'm scared of actual rejection, I think I'm scared of the thought of it.

I see the movie running in my head, but legs won't walk me over to her.

Ladies, you would honestly not believe the power of that fear. The thought of rejection. Here is a man, outwardly confident, reasonably successful marketer, for fucks sake, can stand up in front of 100 people, done a lot of public speaking, but put me in a bar, art gallery, shop, or wherever and see what happens. You would probably piss yourself laughing.It's hilarious, and pathetic.

I am gonna break this one, people. I surprise myself sometimes but freeze far too regularly. I read somewhere recently that you have to overlay the 'approach pain' with the memory, laying in your bed later, looking up at the ceiling, unable to sleep; of the utter weakness and frustration in not following that instinct and making the moment your own.